Book Summary: Glad We Met, by Steven G. Rogelberg

Despite having participated in hundreds to thousands of 1:1 meetings in our corporate lives, most professionals give little thought to these critical connection points. Ironically, training on 1:1 meetings is a gap in the corporate learning space and therefore most everyone learns how to do 1:1 meetings from their boss… for better or worse. While the concepts in this book are foundational, I’d argue that most corporate professionals NEED this foundational knowledge.

QUICK SUMMARY

This book covers everything you need to know about creating a culture of valuable 1:1 meetings from cadence to location to agendas and more. Rogelberg, a leader in meeting research, argues that 1:1s are one of the most critical meeting types for the success of team members and managers. Conducting 1:1s successfully is foundational to being a manager and at the core of a direct report’s experience and development at work, including how well they engage, how they perceive the effectiveness of their manager, and envision their future in the organization.

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Ideas That Resonated

Here are some of the ideas that stood out as important or unique.

Larger meetings are less inclusive. [p190]

This idea is counter intuitive… how could including more people be less inclusive? When there are more participants, it becomes more difficult to hear from everyone, coordination is harder, and people engage less… becoming 'social loafers' where they don't engage deeply because they feel more anonymous in larger groups.

Silence is often an indication of contemplation rather than awkwardness or a lack of engagement. [p119]

In this corporate world where often being the first to jump in and the loudest voice, it can be hard to sit in silence. This reminder to leave space for thinking deeply, even when in the company of others, is important.

If the direct's solution does not fully align with yours, but is still viable, go with THEIR idea - even if you think yours is better. [p118]

This! I’ve been both the manager who can’t let go of my vision and the direct who has to unnecessarily follow my boss’s way of doing things, begrudgingly. Knowing when and being able to let go of a specific vision around how something gets done is worth spending time practicing.

One idea that missed the mark: Do I give feedback to my manager?

The section on giving feedback to your boss during 1:1s made my blood boil. It started with a series of quotes discouraging giving feedback like “Feedback is a gift, unless someone doesn't want it." Then went on to caution and coach about being courteous and respectful in a way that wasn’t present earlier in the book in the section about giving your direct report feedback. I get there is a power dynamic at play and believe me so does anyone in corporate. So people don’t need this messaging to pile on to their already fearful hesitation about managing up. Let’s encourage a learning culture where feedback is so frequently flowing in all directions that it’s not only well received, it’s anticipated and celebrated as an opportunity for growth.