Take Pre-meeting Small Talk from Awkward to Easy
Welcome to the 24th issue of the Knockout Your Sunday Scaries Newsletter, an every-other-week newsletter by me, Kristy Olinger, with a focus on workplace communication and self-development. I’m glad you’re here. Was this forwarded to you? Get yours: Subscribe here
Sunday, March 30th, 2025
Hi there,
Those initial minutes when the group is still gathering have a tendency to be super awkward. Instead of sitting in silence or scanning emails, consider initiating a conversation to build quick rapport. Most people (myself included) dread small talk. What we really dread is disingenuous conversation and being put on the spot by personal questions.
There is a trick to initiating genuine and bonding pre-meeting small talk that is quite simple: share something relatable.
This gives people the option to choose to share a similar experience or react and ask more about what you’re saying. You’re taking the conversational pressure of of the other people and you’re not pushing them into a small talk corner by asking a direct question.
Here are some examples that I’ve personally used:
I talked about a rule that we have in my house that we don’t turn on the air conditioning before June 1st, no matter how hot it is.
I shared that I had heartburn then made a joke that it was actual heartburn and not heartburn over the work we were there to do.
I shared how I had exported my calendar details from Outlook to analyze my time use because I'm a total nerd.
I showed a snack I was eating that had my name on the bag and then talked about for the really good snacks we get multiples and label them because everyone eats at a different pace.
Not every relatable topic works as a pre-meeting share. I have a set of four criteria that I follow for this and the one that’s most important is that it must be inconsequential and emotionally neutral. This is because as soon as the last person you’re waiting for has joined, you need to be able to quickly transition to the meeting agenda. If you’ve launched into a story about the death of your dog, that’s going to be hard to do.
For more criteria for pre-meeting small talk and a list of topic ideas, listen to The Opposite of Small Talk Episode 147: What to do with those awkward minutes before a meeting starts.
If you’re still wondering to yourself “why do I even need to do this?”, the truth is you don’t. You can absolutely sit in silence while you wait for the meeting to start. However it’s well documented that humans have a preference for the people they know. If you’re willing to invest effort into building rapport with coworkers and letting them know you, even with non-work related topics, they are more likely to help you in the future when you need it.
Having strong work relationships that you can count on is absolutely an antidote for the 😱 Sunday Scaries.
📚 What I’m Reading: How to Change, Katy Milkman
I’ve listened to Katy on SO MANY of my favorite podcasts, including hers (Choiceology), that I’m already familiar with most of the ideas from her book. It’s so worth reading though because reviewing material multiple times is key to remembering. If you can’t remember something, you can’t apply it to your life and these are ideas worth using!
March is Women’s Month
In honor of Women’s month, we chose female-focused topics this month for the podcast. We encourage EVERYONE to listen to these important episodes.
Women’s Month Podcast Episodes:
The Pink Tax: Listen on Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify
Menopause: Listen on Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify
You made it to the end! Congrats & thanks. ❤️ Have a great two weeks.
Stay Curious,
Kristy
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