KO#18: The Power of Thank You at Work
Welcome to the 18th issue of the Knockout Your Sunday Scaries Newsletter, an every-other-week newsletter by me, Kristy Olinger, with a focus on workplace communication and self-development. I’m glad you’re here. Was this forwarded to you? Get yours: Subscribe here
Sunday, November 24th, 2024
Hi there,
I once inherited a boss through a reorganization that I was not very happy about. I got layered and lost my seat at the leadership table. While I liked and respected my new boss, let's call him Dave, I felt overlooked, bitter, and frustrated by this turn of events. To top it off Dave had the most annoying habit. He thanked me. For EVERYTHING. ALL.THE.TIME.
This really rubbed me the wrong way. Which is funny because my husband jokes that my employers could pay me in praise… that I love to be recognized and win awards. This is absolutely true. What I realized is that I only relish in the praise when I've gone 'above and beyond'. Getting a thank you for something that's an expected part of the day to day job feels like overkill. It's being an over-thanker.
BUT, to his credit, Dave's thank yous were genuine as far as I could tell. Not something that he did because he read it in a management book somewhere, but actually how he felt. So I let it slide.
In this reorganization Dave inherited several other colleagues. One of them was Tom. Tom was a thoughtful and conscientious worker. I know this because he had reported to me in the past.
Tom was pegged as an underperformer during talent discussions and that had always felt a bit unfair to me. Tom was fully remote and quiet in meetings so he didn't have many people who knew him in the department. Add to that he'd been bounced around to many different managers and roles through the years so he never had a solid chance to deliver meaningful work. I always had the sense that he was capable, but we just hadn't set him up for success.
You can probably guess from here where this story is going to go. Tom absolutely flourished under Dave. While I know there were things that Dave did to organize the team in a way that ensured Tom had role clarity and meaningful work to do - I believe that Dave's thank you habit is what brought out the best in Tom.
Just imagine what it must feel like having a revolving door of managers. You'd struggle to feel seen and valued. You probably wouldn't do your best work. Dave took the time to notice and appreciate Tom for everything that he did. And Tom showed up and rose to the occasion.
Despite this story playing out in front of my eyes, I haven't magically transformed into an effusive over-thanker like Dave. But every so often, and especially on Thanksgiving week, I remember the power of thank you and I make it a point to thank the people in my life just for showing up.
And to that end, I want to thank you - for reading this story. It may seem like a small thing to you, but it means so much to me.
📚 What I’m Reading: Remarkably Bright Creatures, by Shelby Van Pelt
A widow named Tova befriends a giant Pacific octopus named Marcellus who helps her uncover some truths about the past. The themes personal growth and aging were most salient to me. I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump and this one snapped me right out of it. A film adaptation is forthcoming with Sally Field (I’m assuming as Tova).
Content Round Up - In Case You Missed It
Even if you’re following me on social media, the algorithm may or may not put my post in your feed. Here is what has launched over the last 2 weeks, in case you missed it.
Tip for Communicating with Toxic Coworkers - VIDEO
This may or may not have been inspired by true life ;)
Episode 163. Why Work Matters, with Mo Carrick - PODCAST
Do you find that the work you do gives you a sense of purpose or that your contributions as an employee are important to a cause bigger than yourself? Moe Carrick views work as a human need. Moe brings her wealth of knowledge, and decades of experience in the study of workplace culture to our spirited discussion on the topic of Why Work Matters.
Silence Means Disagreement - VIDEO
This idea comes from my husband, who made it a point to get verbal feedback from people before assuming that they were on board. I don’t completely agree with the concept, because there are many reasons that someone is silent in a meeting, but love that it pushes you to be sure you’re hearing from all voices.
You made it to the end! Congrats & thanks. ❤️ Have a great two weeks.
Stay Curious,
Kristy
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